Oh! Tukso, layuan mo ako!
It is a popular song for many of us, Filipinos. Ang sarap ng himno at ang mga liriko ay sadyang akma sa tema ng bawal na pag-ibig. Paboritong kanta ni Lolo Juanito noong siya ay macho gwapito pa.
Justifications after justifications, we all hear from people who are engaged in this kind of relationship. For them, it’s perfectly fine till they get caught and their life is ruined by the situation they themselves, created.
Yes, being away and lonely is another hurdle and a big challenge for us OFWs. An individual whose self-control mechanism is low and weak will easily be tempted and get trapped in the midst of loneliness or homesickness. A lot of OFWs wittingly and willingly test their loneliness by finding a “friendly companion”.
“For companionship lang ‘dre…”, ang madalas na maririnig sa kanila.
While it is natural to experience loneliness when we are away from our family, it is no excuse either to commit this act, which eventually, could ruin our family. For others, homesickness pushes them to seek these kinds of friendly companionships. They want somebody who they can talk to or share time during their separation from their respected families.
Ang bilis ng panahon at talaga nga naman… Ang friendly companionship ay lalo pang lumalim. Sabi sa isang kantang Ingles, “Love is in the air! Love is in the air everywhere I look around!”
An inevitable scenario is brewing… The couple has fallen intimately and find themselves so engrossed with their feelings. For some Juans and Juanas, if they are both single (unmarried) and have no family responsibility back home, this is a big opportune time for them, but for those having their respective families, there’s no explanation needed. A catastrophe is in the offing.
“Masarap ang bawal”, madalas nating marinig.
“Enjoy the moment while it last”, sabi naman ng isang kaberks.
With the situation above, an unfortunate scenario heads their way while they continue this forbidden game. Additional burden begins to pile up should they decide to live-in together and the woman gets pregnant. The worse thing is when the woman is also married and has family obligations back home. Paktay kang bata ka! “Ano ang gagawin ko Juan?!!”, tanong ni mucho gwapitong Juan sa kanyang sitwasyon.
Sabi naman ng iba,“Dito lang ito Juan, sa Pinas wala naman ito. Back to normal na pagdating sa Pinas. Kanya-kanya na doon. Mahirap lang kasi talaga ang mag-isa eh!”
So, enjoy-enjoy lang hanggat hindi nabibisto.
Finding the way in seems easy, exciting and enjoyable but finding the way out is the hardest thing to do. The difficult part is when you really could not get out of the mess you are in. Even, if you were able to manage and get out of the situation, the damage has been done. Most of the time, the family is already broken. Bits and pieces you try to collect and recover but fail every time you put it together, the way it used to be.
Earning back the happy family you once have, is always a failure. You find it so hard and difficult to achieve this. Perhaps, you feel, it’s payback time. The machismo mentality that played eccentrically boosting your manhood could not save you either.
Finding the way out and fixing the mess, your deepest hope to redeem yourself and your family.
Oh yes! We experience homesickness when we go abroad. The nostalgia is sometimes so deep and indescribable. Lest, like I said, let not this be a reason for us to do these other things on the side while we are away from our families. We may see cloud nine and the seventh heaven in livening up our fleshly needs, but that is temporary. When reality sinks in, there is no escaping the blades of the falling knives on your way back to your real world. The family is heading nowhere and broken apart.
Sabi naman ng iba, “Nasa nagdadala lang iyan Juan. Kung magaling ka, walang mangyayari. Enjoy mo lang.”
Well for me, it is all the machismo culture we have. The answer can be seen everywhere. With the many situations I have seen with this mucho gwapito culture thing, there is no need to test if the boiling water is hot or not. When your hopes and dreams are shattered, when your children’s feelings have gone to hatred and revenge, everything is irreconcilable, say then, “Nasa nagdadala lang iyan Juan.”
The good Daddy they saw in you is no more but a fallacy. They trust you no more. Trust is always a question mark. Will you wait for this thing to happen?
Your family comes first, they are your priority.
They are your every reason why you sacrificed working abroad.
They are your reason too, why you should succeed.
Happy reading and God bless!